Contemporary Feminism in Middle School: Dress Coded and Maybe He Just Likes You [MG Reviews]

Molly Frost is FED UP… Because Olivia was yelled at for wearing a tank top when she had to keep her sweatshirt wrapped around her waist. Because Liza got dress coded and Molly didn’t, even though they were wearing the exact same outfit. Because when Jessica was pulled over by the principal and missed a math quiz, her teacher gave her an F. Because it’s impossible to find shorts that are longer than her fingertips. Because girls’ bodies are not a distraction. Because middle school is hard enough. And so Molly starts a podcast where girls can tell their stories, and soon her small rebellion swells into a revolution. Because now the girls are standing up for what’s right, and they’re not backing down. 

Goodreads description

Review ✍️

Dress Code Enforcement

My instinctual response to the enforcement of the dress code in Dress Coded was that it’s a bit over top and leans almost into parody. It’s like every single bad story you’ve heard about dress coding happening at one school. Unfortunately, I’m sure there are schools just like Molly’s. The message and actions of Molly and co. will still resonate with any kid who’s been asked to cover their shoulders or change into longer shorts, even if it’s not been in as embarrassing or aggressive situations as at Molly’s school.

Speaking Out

Molly read to me as your average White middle schooler. She doesn’t stick out much. She doesn’t get into anything too exciting or risque. At first glance, she doesn’t seem interesting enough to be a protagonist. But she sees an injustice and raises her voice about it. Dress Coded highlights what this generation of young students can achieve, with their keen sense of justice and access to new technologies.

I loved the relationship between the high school, middle school, and elementary school students. The high school girls are keen to support the middle schoolers, because they know what they’re going through and want to help them make a change. As well, Molly and her classmates will move to high school before administration enacts any changes, but they still want to make a difference for the elementary schoolers coming up.

Interestingly, dress coding is only a problem at Molly’s middle school. The high school doesn’t enforce the dress code. I wonder how common that it is? My own experience was reversed (i.e. dress code more strictly enforced at high school. Of course, that was 10+ years ago now…)

A Sibling with Addiction

Molly’s relationship with her older brother Danny forms a significant subplot. Danny’s in grade 11. He has a vaping addiction and has been selling to kids at Molly’s school. Molly has always had a difficult relationship with her brother, even before vaping entered the picture. She wants him to treat her like a big brother should – she wants kindness, friendship, support – but he treats her poorly and takes advantage of her desire for a good relationship with him.

This subplot is almost equal to the main plot. Their relationship isn’t perfectly resolved by the end of the story. There are steps forward and steps back. Molly learns that she’s not to blame for Danny’s treatment of her. I haven’t read many middle grade stories that depict imperfect sibling relationships, so I really appreciated that narrative. (Writing this makes me realize I wouldn’t say no to a YA novel from Danny’s perspective.)

‘Diverse’ Representation?

While there’s lots to love about this book, it isn’t perfect. A couple questionable moments stood out to me. A Black girl from Trinidad appears about 70% into the story to share her experience with a boy who wouldn’t stop touching her hair. The teacher told Talia she needed to fix her hair, instead of telling the boy to stop. Her story appalls Molly and co.; teachers and parents “listen with horrified expressions” and “shake their heads”. (As if the only racist experience Talia had at that school was with that one teacher…) While I think it’s good that this example of racism is included, I wish Talia had been a more fleshed out character and not just an example/lesson.

A more prominent character throughout the book is Molly’s friend Megan, who has cerebral palsy. We hear stories from when Molly and Megan were little. They hang out together. A few incidences address the bullying Megan experiences. It wasn’t until about 65% of the way through that I started to question if Megan might be read as ‘inspiration porn’. This is when Molly directly asks Megan, “How are you still happy? How has all that horrible stuff not affected you?” Megan answers that her mom taught her not to give them her energy, which resonates with Molly. I think Megan is a well-rounded character, but I would like to hear from #ownvoices reviewers on this. While Megan’s portrayal may be problematic, I can say I would have liked Talia to have been a larger part of the story, like Megan is.

💭 The Bottom Line:

With two story lines on keenly relevant topics converging on the point of a young girl learning to speak up and make a change, Dress Coded makes a strong addition to today’s contemporary middle grade.

For seventh grader Mila, it starts with an unwanted hug on the school blacktop. The next day, it’s another hug. A smirk. Comments. It all feels…weird. According to her friend Zara, Mila is being immature, overreacting. Doesn’t she know what flirting looks like? But it keeps happening, despite Mila’s protests. On the bus, in the halls. Even during band practice-the one time Mila could always escape to her “blue-sky” feeling. It seems like the boys are EVERYWHERE. And it doesn’t feel like flirting–so what is it? Mila starts to gain confidence when she enrolls in karate class. But her friends still don’t understand why Mila is making such a big deal about the boys’ attention. When Mila is finally pushed too far, she realizes she can’t battle this on her own–and finds help in some unexpected places.

Goodreads

🍂 Interview @ YA Books Central 🍂 Review @ Mom Read It 🍂 Review @ Randomly Reading

Review ✍️

Maybe He Just Likes You pairs perfectly with Dress Coded. Both novels crack open long standing issues on the treatment of girls (predominantly white ones) in middle school. Where I found Dress Coded primarily frustrating (augh, what awful administration!), I found Maybe He Just Likes You heartbreaking (yes, Mila, they are in the wrong!). Molly sees a wrong and works to fix it. Mila spends most of the book wondering if she really has been wronged. As an adult reader who can immediately see the problems with Mila’s treatment – by the adults in her life, by her friends, by her classmates – the story made my heart ache.

Mila’s Experience

Mila has many experiences that made me want to give her a hug and tell “Your’re right, that’s not okay”. Instances of second guessing whether it was intentional or serious enough to be upset about, of wondering why you didn’t react differently, of immediately apologizing, of not feeling like anything you do will make a difference. Of friends questioning why you ‘allow’ it, saying it’s flirting, not saying anything at all. 😢 It’s tough to read because it’s so real. Mila listing how each experience made her feel made me tear up.

The whole thing had felt strange and creepy, so why hadn’t I just walked out of the room? Or even thought of a lame comeback (No hug, but I’ll play you “Happy Birthday” on my trumpet)? Why hadn’t I challenged Leo’s birthday in the first place? (12%)

Maybe He Just Likes You, 12%

The Guys

There’s some nuance in the portrayal of the boys who harassed Mila. They’re essentially divided into two types: two boys who are kind of just awful to everyone and two boys who aren’t braze enough to stand up or realize it’s gotten out of hand. The later two don’t necessarily realize how hurtful their actions are. Which I imagine is probably the case with a good chunk of these younger kids. Yeah, they should have been taught not to touch people without permission… but they’ve grown up in a ‘boys will be boy’s culture and it will take a lot to change that.

In one striking scene, the mom of one of the ‘unaware’ harassers is teaching his little sister that we ‘keep our hands to ourselves’. She’s talking about a stranger’s dog. I think books like Maybe He Just Likes You can help start important conversations. This nuanced portrayal might help kids who think “I would never sexually harass someone!” realize that their actions are harmful.

Because all the words I could think of – bullying, teasing, flirting – seemed too simple, too small, to hold all the hurt I was feeling.

Maybe He Just Likes You (75%)

💭 The Bottom Line

As an introduction to the what sexual harassment can look like, Maybe He Just Likes You should be required reading for every middle school student.

Does recalling your middle school experience make you smile or cringe? Do you have any recommendations for similar books I should read? (I have That’s What Friends Do checked out currently.)