The Harm of Silence, Rumours, and Assumptions [MG Review]

Samantha Goldstein and David Fisher have been friends ever since they met on their town’s Little League baseball team. But when a new kid named Luke starts hanging out with them, what was a comfortable pair becomes an awkward trio. Luke’s comments make Sammie feel uncomfortable—but all David sees is how easily Luke flirts with Sammie, and so David decides to finally make a move on the friend he’s always had a crush on. Soon things go all wrong and too far, and Sammie and David are both left feeling hurt, confused, and unsure of themselves, without anyone to talk to about what happened. As rumors start flying around the school, David must try to make things right (if he can) and Sammie must learn to speak up about what’s been done to her.

Goodreads description

Review ✍🏻

Set in a fictionalized New York City suburb, That’s What Friends Do explores the rupture of a friendship between two white Jewish kids. David and Sammie narrate alternating sections in first person, giving the story nuance and complexity that it would have lacked with a one-sided narration.

Sammie, the Stuck Up Baseball Star?

The origin of Sammie and David’s friendship wasn’t what I expected. I assumed they were childhood best friends, now navigating the challenges of seventh grade. But the actual origin is far more interesting and reveals a lot about Sammie’s character. While they were loose friends through baseball growing up, Sammie decided to make David her best friend after she no longer fit in with and was subsequently rejected by her (all girl) friend group after they became interested in ‘girly’ things at the start of grade six.

Sammie’s bad experience with her former friends, combined with the internalized misogyny she’s developed (as egged on by her dad), leads her to reject anything typically associated with girls – most notably softball. Whether Sammie will play baseball or softball in grade seven is a key subplot that explores these themes. Sammie doesn’t realize there’s more than one way to be a girl. She thinks all girls must be like her old friends. This is not an uncommon experience among middle school girls. They feel pressured to reject ‘girl stuff’ in order to be taken seriously or valued. Certainly I saw that happen among my own friends in middle school. I’m glad That’s What Friends Do dismantles those ideas.

David, King of Bad Assumptions

Ah, David. Another character of the sort I recall encountering in middle school. A boy with a burgeoning crush who doesn’t know how to have an honest conversation with his best friend and who makes a lot of incorrect assumptions because of that. David’s feelings for Sammie colour his perception of her and Luke’s interactions. Because of his crush, David never thinks to ask Sammie how she feels about Luke. David stews in his own thoughts, leading him to actions that significantly hurt Sammie and Luke. As a grown up, it was painful following along as David makes these mistakes. But he ultimately learns from them as well, and that makes this a strong story for young readers.

I felt I had more insight into David’s perspective while reading, possibly because his perspective had more page time. But I didn’t actually check whether he has more sections than Sammie.

Luke, the Oblivious Disrupter

Although Luke plays a critical role in the story, instigating the rupture in Sammie and David’s friendship, Barnhart does not write from his point of view. I suppose it would have been too much to include. The story works well focused on Sammie and David. Because of this, Luke isn’t as fleshed out as Sammie and David. However, there is some nuance to his character, particularly later in the story. Luke talks a lot of garbage about girls, at least some of which he picked up from his dad. For the most part, he’s more talk than action. And he’s hurt by David’s actions as well. A good question for readers might be who treats Sammie most poorly – David or Luke? I don’t mean to dismiss Luke’s actions; I mean to highlight that he’s portrayed like a real kid.

The Bottom Line 💭

While I found the tone of That’s What Friends Do fairly solemn for a middle grade novel, the story makes for a striking and nuanced read with plenty to reflect on.

Further Reading 📰

🍂 Read an excerpt
🍂 Author website
🍂 Interview @ MG Book Village
🍂 Reviews: Afoma @ Afoma Umesi
🍂 Related: I reviewed Dress Coded and Maybe He Just Like You, two contemporary middle grade titles published in the past year that also address consent, harassment, and the sexualization of middle schoolers.